yeah, bitch! magnets!

He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Mark Zuckerberg. We were best friends at Harvard. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in college, I started going out with my first girlfriend Christy who was totally gorgeous but then she tried to set something on fire, and Mark was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Christy, he'd be like, "Why didn't you facebook me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-Facebook pool party, I was like, "Mark, I can't invite you, because I think I want to sue you." I mean I couldn't have a cheater at my party. There were gonna be employees there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? He was a CHEATER. So then his lawyer called my lawyer and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of Harvard because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for school, all of his facebook stuff was set to private and he was totally weird, and now I guess he's on crack.